Duke of York Square food market, Chelsea

Sandro Botticelli, The Birth of Venus ( c. 1482–1486)

Oysters, the breakfast choice of Essex fisherman for generations. Could you take the challenge..and enjoy it?

When Aphrodite sprang forth from the sea on an oyster shell and gave birth to Eros, the word “Aphrodisiac” was born. Oysters have been arousing passion ever since. But as I walk past the Maldon Oyster Bar, on Chelsea’s Duke of York Market, early on a Saturday morning all I muster is wan repulsion.

Ahead, a stall is covered in chocolate-coated edibles that are better suited for dunking in coffee. I walk towards but its no use, the Maldon owner has made eye contact. He starts beckoning me over with his index finger. He is an attractive fifty year-old with a healthy flush, and I wonder if the high zinc content of oysters are as good for the skin as for the libido. As I approach, it occurs to me that he wants to feed me a specimen. I panic. My track record is poor with salesman. I am drawn to the pushy ones in the same way curious insects are drawn to fly-traps, innocent yet knowing. I give the chocolates a wistful look, before moving towards the oysters and my fate.

“Would miss care to try an oyster, one for a £1?” The question is rhetorical. Before I have the chance to ask whether eating oysters before noon, on an empty stomach is a good idea, I am biting down on a the salty goo – half gritsle, half slime . “One chew and then swallow!” I follow his instructions buy kept help feeling violated.

I would hate to give the Oysters a bad reputation -they do taste wonderful with shallot and vineger. I only suggest you check you watch before having one, despite what the Maldon man says.

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Recipe for hearty egg and oyster breakfast omlets, from www.cooks.com
9 eggs, divided
Salt and pepper to taste
8 med. size oysters
Bread crumbs
Butter
4 link sausages
4 lamb kidneys
4 slices bacon
Parsley

 

“Beat 1 egg in shallow bowl with a little salt and pepper. Dip oysters in beaten egg, then in bread crumbs; saute in butter until plump and golden. Remove and drain on paper towels. Put link sausages in a small heavy pan and add a few drops of water. Cover and cook slowly until browned. Set aside. Split lamb kidneys in half, remove membranes, then place on a rack with bacon and broil, turning once until bacon is crisp and kidneys are done to your liking. Set aside.

Beat remaining 8 eggs with salt and pepper to taste. Melt some butter in a medium pan and pour one fourth of egg mixture into it when it’s hot. Arrange 2 oysters, 1 sausage, 2 kidney halves and 1 slice of bacon in the egg in pan. Cook as you would any omelet, but don’t roll it; then finish the last – minute cooking under the broiler. Serve immediately, garnished with fresh parsley or keep warm in a low oven while you cook the other three omelets. Makes 4″

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